Psedo-Polygany is what I call what most black people think is polygany. If most black men and black women who say they want polyany, or are open to polygany, or that its necessary for black nation building knew what real polyany was, like a revolution, they wouldn't even think about it because most of or people are scared of polygany!
The problem is we haven't thought about it--at least not enough. Whats worse is that we don't talk about polygany even half as much as the little we think about it. You could be in the resemblance of a polyganous relationship and never even talk about polygany. All you know is that you sleep with all your women, he sleeps with her or her too, there's several children, and we take turns doing chores and share resources.
Nobody said black nation building was going to be easy, but most people promoting polygany--for that purpose--at least give the impression that polygany is better for us as a people. So when we think of polygany being better, there us some assumption that that means better for us spiritually, emotionally, and physically. However, being in polygany can undermine all those aspects in terms of what we consider better.
Since we tend not to think too deeply or talk enough about how polygany is better for us before we jump into polygany, we can end up in a very tangled psedo-polyganous relationship filled with discontent that is harder to walk away from, harder to grow together in, and draining.
This is why polygany gets a bad rap and those that have been in polygany usually never want to get back into a polyganous relationship, especially if you're a woman. It can be more so resented by women because if we are the ones who were open to it or even fantasized about it, if she doesn't have a say in choosing the other sister and there is little thought or conversation about the second (or third, or fourth) wife, its like opening up a can of worms.
Psedo-Polygany can continue for the man indefinitely, because he can always have a revolving door of women well into his 70's to build his nation with. The longer he practices it the less he is probably going to have heartfilled discussions about the pros and cons of polygany. Whereas, for the women getting into polygany, you're naivity comes in handy.
Is it the Black man's fault polygany doesn't work for the Americanized Black woman the way she might want it to? No. But black women shouldn't be let off the hook for giving polygany a bad reputation in the black community either.
First of all, let's get one thing straight. White supremacy is the reason practicing polygany is so difficult.
Ultimately, the way in which polygany is better for us, as it stands, is not in how we can pool our resources together to become more capitalistic in the system or because we can simply raise our numbers by having more black babies. If nothing else, Polygany can only be better for us in how we overcome the challenges of unifying with our people on an inter-personal level.
Did you hear that? I said on an inter-personal level. That doesn't mean you have to like each other. It just means you elevate above the need to be liked for the sake of black supremacy.
Did you hear that? I said on an inter-personal level. That doesn't mean you have to like each other. It just means you elevate above the need to be liked for the sake of black supremacy.
Polygany may never work for us in America as it is proverbially totted, but there is a deeper connection we can make to our roots as a people, that crushes the system preventing it from happening freely. Knowing that even the Psedo-Polygany that you might be practicing is destroying white supremacy may be the only betterment you experience.
How polygany destroys white supremacy should be the foundation and the place to start when we think or talk about polygany. Practicing the destruction of white supremacy is really the only way we are going to move from Psedo-Polygany to the real thing. Because the illusion of white supremacy is the main reason your so-called sister wife ain't your sister wife and why polygany doesn't work for most black people.
